Pressure to Be Perfect: How Perfectionism Affects Women

The allure of perfection doesn’t discriminate. Perfectionism can impact both men and women, but it tends to affect each gender a bit differently. For all who suffer from it, an unhealthy fear of failure and unrealistic expectations are at the heart of this trait.

For women, the pressure to be perfect comes from a variety of potential triggers. Many of them have to do with unrealistic societal expectations. Some women strive to reach unhealthy beauty standards. Others feel they need to “have it all” and reach the top in their personal lives as well as their careers.

Gender stereotypes, social media, and so many other factors can make the pressure to be perfect even greater for women. With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at how that pressure could be affecting you and what you can do about it.

The Mental Health Impact

It should come as no surprise that being under constant pressure can take a toll on your mental health. The unrealistic expectations associated with perfectionism can cause you to fall flat. No one is perfect. While striving to do your best is important, setting goals for yourself that are impossible to reach is a way to set yourself up for failure.

Unfortunately, setting unrealistic goals can perpetuate a cycle and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you “fail,” you’ll start to tell yourself that you’re not good enough. It can be a major blow to your self-esteem and lead to mental health issues like anxiety or depression.

A Fear of Taking Risks

When you’re so concerned with being perfect, you’re likely to hold yourself back from potential risks. Showing caution is fine. But avoiding things because you’re worried about failure could be stifling your true potential.

What you might see as a risk or a setup for failure could be an important opportunity. Without taking those chances from time to time, you’ll never experience real growth in your career or personal life.

Harsh Criticism

One of the worst parts about the pressure to be perfect is the self-criticism that comes with it. You tend to become your own worst enemy, evaluating and judging yourself constantly. Your inner critic is always looking for ways to point out your inadequacies and failures, and when you do accomplish something or deserve praise, you tend to downplay it and focus on what you could have done better.

This kind of negative self-talk can crush your self-esteem and lead to bigger problems throughout your life. If you don’t see yourself in a positive light, you’re likely to make little or no progress at work. You’re also likely to step into unhealthy relationships (romantic and otherwise) because you think you don’t deserve love and support.

Addressing the Pressure to Be Perfect

If any of these issues sound familiar, you’re certainly not alone. Whether the pressure of perfectionism stems from childhood, gender stereotypes, or your own internal beliefs, it’s never too late to challenge it.

Start by being more compassionate with yourself. If you saw a friend or loved one constantly criticizing themselves, you would treat them kindly and do whatever you could to support them. You deserve nothing less from yourself. Accept your flaws, show compassion, and focus on your strengths. Eventually, you’ll be able to challenge negative thoughts and improve your self-image.

Professional Support Is Available

You don’t need to tackle these things on your own. Fighting back against years of perfectionism isn’t easy, but anxiety therapy can help. Working with a professional can help you develop a better understanding of where the pressure began and offer effective strategies for moving forward. If you’re ready to take that step, contact me today to set up an appointment.